


Confessions

by Sinister_Kid



Series: Lion, 9:41 Dragon [15]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Awkward Romance, Battlements, Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:22:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26963635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinister_Kid/pseuds/Sinister_Kid
Summary: Atop the windswept battlements, the Commander and Inquisitor both have a confession to make.
Relationships: Male Adaar/Cullen Rutherford, Male Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford
Series: Lion, 9:41 Dragon [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1157210
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Hey there! Have some fluff. 
> 
> Only rated mature for language :/

Cullen couldn’t take it anymore.

It was high time he ended this little game of theirs.

The following morning, Ataashi was due to leave for the Exalted Plains, so it was now, or never, in the Commander’s eyes. He would not wait a minute longer, so after signing off on his reports, he looked up at the runner standing idly in his office, scratching his neck, who was waiting for Cullen to hand him parchment to take to Leliana’s loft in the mages’ tower, and said, “If you would, please send Inquisitor Adaar to my office after you speak with Sister Leliana.”

He ignored the ever so slight twitch of a smile that appeared at the corner of the runner’s mouth. “Of course, sir,” the young scout replied. “I will do that immediately, sir.”

“Thank you,” Cullen said with a nod of his golden head.

But perhaps it was fate that played a hand in events, because wouldn’t you know, not seconds later, none other than the kossith in question appeared at Cullen’s door. 

“Ah, never mind then,” he mumbled to the scout, who nodded. “Inquisitor,” he greeted Ataashi, straightening his stance behind the desk. 

“Commander,” the dark, hulking figure greeted in turn. “I uh…I thought we could talk.” He glanced at the scout. “Alone.”

Cullen’s heart all but stopped at that word, breath momentarily stolen from his lungs. “Alone?…I mean, of course.”

The runner was dismissed, scurrying off to carry his messages to Sister Leliana and await her report on the matter addressed in Cullen’s notes. The Commander then gestured to the side door leading to a section of the outer perimeter so that he and the Inquisitor might speak more privately. If anyone should encroach upon Cullen’s office, they knew to simply leave whatever messages on the Commander’s desk and he would get to them eventually. The air on the battlements was fresh and crisp, as a breeze floated past, bringing with it the earthy scent of the Frostback mountains. 

The walked to what Cullen had hoped would be an unoccupied section of the keep, where they could speak freely without hindrance. A place on the ramparts with, admittedly, a view of the mountains surrounding the keep that was rather picturesque. Ataashi was silent beside him as they strolled, frowning, but his lips moved a little as if reciting something under his breath. Rehearsing his words perhaps, so that he might properly, and confidently say whatever he meant to. Cullen was well aware of this quirk of his. He found it incredibly endearing. But the silence was nerve racking.

“It’s a nice day,” the Commander remarked, mostly just to strike up conversation.

“What?” Ataashi asked, pausing in step, confused. Cullen stopped beside him.

“It’s,” He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced around the empty enclosure, “There was something you wished to discuss?”

“Yeah, I…u-uhm…” Ataashi sighed and moved to lean against the outer wall. Slightly hunched over like this, he was now eye level with the warrior. He scratched one of his horns in a gesture that seemed to mirror Cullen’s own nervous tick, and the Commander instantly recognized it as one that meant Ataashi was indeed very nervous to speak. “ _Vashedan_ ,” he cursed. “I don’t know why I can’t just say it, or why this is so hard.” What followed after was a string of words in Qunlat that of course Cullen couldn’t understand.

“Ataashi, you’re not making any sense.”

“What?”

“You’re speaking Qunlat again.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“You’re nervous about something.”

Ataashi sighed. “I don’t know why. I practiced what I was going to say before I got here. I thought I would just be able to say it. But I can’t. When I’m face to face with you, I just…”

Oh if only the Inquisitor had _any_ idea how alike they were in this moment! Maker! But they were so much the same. Seeing how flustered Ataashi had become flooded Cullen with relief to know he wasn’t the only one struggling. For all that he appeared otherwise when people were watching, in reality Ataashi was just as much of a mess as the Commander was. It was utterly adorable, and Cullen both admired him more for it, as well as pitied him.

“You have never been this nervous before now,” Cullen pointed out. “And you know there’s truly no reason to be. It’s only me, Taash.”

Ataashi blew out a gust of air, and said, “Yeah, right sure, because telling you how I _feel_ is so easy. It’s not like we’re talking about the Inquisition, or even the weather, Cullen.”

Cullen lifted a brow. “How you feel? What did you mean by that?”

Ataashi ducked his head. “I…I care about you, Cullen.”

“I care about you as well–”

“No, no, listen,” the Dragon interrupted, “What I mean is, I don’t just ‘care’ about you, Cullen, I mean I… _care_ about you, Cullen. What I mean to say is…” _For the love of the Maker, don’t just repeat the word ‘care’ over and over,_ Cullen inwardly groaned. “But that’s not the word I was going to use before. I was going to say… _vashedan_ , I can’t remember the stupid _fucking_ word! What is it?” He squeezed his eyes shut, wracking his brain for a moment. “It was there when I was in my room. But I can’t think of it now. It was a specific thing with a same but different meaning.”

“Taash–”

“I want you, Cullen,” he blurted out. “You _know_ that. I’ve made it obvious. But I don’t just want to sleep with you, is what I wanted to say. What I feel is…it’s not just physical. I could get that from anybody. Ever since I became Inquisitor, there have been plenty of people to make the offer. But I don’t want them. Just you. You’re all I think about. What I feel is…is _more_ than what I could get just anywhere. And these last few weeks I’d been thinking that…that maybe you felt the same, but maybe you were just as scared as I was to say the words. So I want you to know that you don’t have to be.”

Cullen felt a little faint after hearing such a confession.

_Maker’s breath._

He didn’t _need_ to find the right word for it. Everything he just said painted a clear enough picture for the Commander to grasp it, and it made him weak in the knees. _He meant that kind of care_, he told himself. “Maker, Taashi,” he gasped, stepping closer, eyes widened in disbelief. “I…I hadn’t thought…” Words were escaping him, his mind absolutely reeling. “I’m just as terrible as you,” he chuckled. “I truly don’t know what to say. I hadn’t…I hadn’t thought it was even possible. You’re the Inquisitor, we’re at war, and…I’m…Maker’s breath, I really don’t know what to say to all that.” 

“Just _please_ don’t say you feel nothing for me,” Ataashi all but begged, peering up at the Commander with pleading eyes.

He couldn’t, not in a million years.

Another step toward the giant, then a gloved hand slowly raised, intent on cupping his cheek. “Taash, I–”

“Commander,” came a voice, interrupting this long awaited moment. _Oh for the love of._. _.!!_ Of all the times, it had to be now. Cullen backed away and turned to glare, visibly perturbed. It was the runner he sent to Leliana. The man looked a little confused to even be standing there, and cowered under the Commander’s stern gaze. “You wanted a copy of Sister Leliana’s report?” he said, holding up the document in question. Cullen continued to glare, hoping he’d take the hint. Luckily he did, stammering, “L-left in your office, right. I’ll, uh, I’ll leave it on your desk. My apologies, sir.”

He turned and scampered off, headed back across the battlements.

Nosey little prick probably just wanted to see if there was truly something going on between the Commander and the Inquisitor.

Cullen let out a sigh.

Ataashi shifted awkwardly. “Look, if you need to–mph!”

Cullen interrupted that thought with a kiss, and by Andraste it was good! Brief though, but it got the point across. Cullen was overwhelmed with the heady scent of smoke and the taste of Ataashi’s tongue when he pulled away and said, “I’m sorry. That was…really nice.”

“Yeah,” Ataashi exhaled in agreement, stunned and wide eyed. “Yeah, it was.”

Time slowed for a moment and they stared at one another, mere inches from each other, in disbelief and wonder, a soft smile adorning the Inquisitor’s lips, to match the one the Commander now sported. Pure joy in his heart. A thumb grazed Ataashi’s dark cheek, filled with the urge to peel off his glove to feel that skin with his fingers. Maker, he was beautiful, and he wanted Cullen with an earnest passion to match his own. Oh people would talk about this, once the rumors started spreading it would be a nightmare, but for the moment, Cullen could only feel relief.

He’d done it. He hadn’t needed words, and he’d said all he’d ever hoped to say to Ataashi.

Slowly he leaned in to kiss him again, this time slowly, Ataashi content to let him lead. His tongue tentatively explored the kossith’s mouth with care, perhaps in part to express every emotion he felt for the Inquisitor that he couldn’t speak aloud. Eventually Ataashi’s hands rose to loosely grip Cullen’s waist, and the Commander’s own hands slipped around his neck. He found that long braid of hair and let it pass through his hand as they broke apart, draping it over one shoulder. Their foreheads touched, both slumped in relief, the tension melting from their frames.

“I…have a confession to make as well,” he told the Inquisitor, when he finally found words. “I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve never felt this way for another man before. It’s…all so new to me. I didn’t know how to properly convey what I was feeling. It was only that I was nervous. I’m sorry if I ever made you doubt that I felt the same for you.”

Ataashi gave a gentle understanding nod of his head. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t be honest with me.”

“I’m…not sure what to do now. Where…where to go from here.”

“We don’t have to _do_ anything, Cullen. Knowing how you feel is enough for me. It will always be enough.”

Cullen smirked. “Are you so sure about that?” he asked.

Ataashi chuckled. “Okay, maybe not, but…can you really blame me for wanting to spend every waking minute with you, exploring what we feel, Kadan?”

Kadan? Interesting word. He wondered what it meant. It sounded nice.

“No, I can’t blame you at all.”

“It’s just a shame that we have so little time.”

Cullen sighed. “Yes, you’ll be leaving for the Exalted Plains in the morning.”

Ataashi nodded. “But I’ll be taking you with me in spirit.”

Cullen smiled at that statement. “I’ll miss you while you’re gone,” he said earnestly, touching his forehead to Ataashi’s again.

“No, don’t say that,” the Dragon laughed. “You’ll make me want to stay. I’m already devising a plan to delay the trip somehow. All I need is one good excuse.”

The Commander chuckled. “No excuses, Inquisitor. I have to share you with the world. I can’t have you all to myself, as lovely as that sounds.”

“Hmm,” he hummed as he leaned back to look at Cullen. “But are you free tonight?”

Cullen blushed. “I… _might_ be. I do have Sister Leliana’s report to look over, and other matters to attend to. But…I’ll try to make time.”

Ataashi smiled. “I’ll let you get back to work, then,” he said. “The sooner you get started, the sooner you’ll be finished.”

Parting with the Inquisitor was painstaking. Cullen didn’t want to move from that spot, and it seemed for all the world as if Ataashi didn’t want to either. But then he stood up, towering over the Commander, but leaned down to peck him on the cheek, making him blush. “I’ll see you later, Cullen,” he said, then walked away, climbing the steps, headed to a different part of the keep and allowing Cullen to make the journey back to his office. The whole way back to it, he turned over the conversation, and that kiss, in his mind. He fought the urge to burst into a sprint.

He made it back to his office not minutes before Cassandra arrived, breathless, clutching her chest. She rushed into the office and closed the door shut behind her, falling back against it. She must have ran all the way there. Or jogged, at the very least. “I saw you and the Inquisitor on the battlements,” she heaved. “Please tell me the rumors are true.” She had such hope and excitement in her eyes. So the rumor mill was already churning, was it? Cullen feared that would be the case. But he couldn’t even begin to be upset about it with seeing such excitement on the Seeker’s face. 

He smirked at her, laying the report in his hand back on the desk. “I have a dinner date with Dorian in the garden this evening,” he said. “Why don’t you join us and I’ll tell you both all about it then.”

Cassandra grinned. “I would love that, Commander,” she said.

Her excitement was wildly infectious, and before the Commander knew it, he was grinning as well.

 _Maker_ , he thought. _I kissed the Inquisitor today._

He hoped to never forget how that felt.


End file.
